Ok, so we're leaving for China. TOMORROW. And I find myself thinking. A LOT.
So first of all, I wanted to say another thank you to all our friends in Jacksonville. This summer has been amazing, and we miss you all so much. I can't wait to see you all again, please keep me updated with your lives and all the funny things your kids are doing.
Second, thank you so much to our family and friends in Utah and California, especially the grandparents. We loved seeing you all, and we are so grateful that you are willing to feed/house/play with us when we are in town. We are so excited to see you all when we get back for school next year!
Third, I am so grateful for Spencer. He is so excited about our trip to China and is trying to so hard to keep me optimistic and help me get excited. He knows I'm nervous, and he is doing everything he can think of to take care of me. I am trying so hard to be strong, and I will be excited and optimistic! I will!
And I keep thinking about all the things I love about the USA. And I start to miss it, even though I haven't left yet. Summer/fall nights, being surrounded by family, greasy fried southern food (Cracker Barrel, I will return!), English speakers, toilets, general cleanliness, my car, ovens and things that I can make with them...these are all things that I won't necessarily have in China and will miss dearly. But then I think about how excited I'll be to have those things again when we get back, and I get excited. I made sure to eat Mexican food, In N Out, and Jack in the Box. We went to the temple this morning with my parents and we're going to the beach and having a bonfire tonight. We are organized, we are ready. We've done just about everything we wanted to before we left. We can do this.
I'm actually feeling pretty calm and have been up to this point, but as the minutes and hours tick closer to "go time" I feel an ever increasing flutter in my chest that I have to suppress. I vary rapidly from denial to panic to acceptance and calm to panic to denial again.
So I'm babbling. But the point is this. We are going to China. In less than 24 hours. And I can do this. I can do this because I have Spencer, and because I have family and friends who are praying and rooting for me. And I have a Heavenly Father and a Savior who love me and know what I'm doing and are with me every step of the way. I can do this.
China, here we come!